Monday, March 31, 2008

I'm The (fucking) King of England!

Hotttttt...

The long-awaited Season 2 premiere of The Tudors aired tonight, and they wasted no time diving right into the thick of it. I, for one, have been a loyal and devout fan of Jonathan Rhys Meyers since the Bend It Like Beckham days (excellent film, by the way), so of course I anxiously awaited the first season of The Tudors last year as well (it did not disappoint in the least). For the unbaptized, the series dramatizes the now infamous story of the Tudor legacy, with Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn in all of their sinister glory, and takes judicious liberties with what those of us with a penchant for studying history have come to know as the "facts". Normally, this disregard for the trivialities of the truth would be quite irksome to me; however, The Tudors does it with flair, panache, and not a little bit of steamy and lascivious carnal debauchery. It's hard to reconcile the Henry I know of from history, he of the fattened gut and receding hairline, with Rhys Meyers' dashing, virile and *masculine* Henry. In an NPR interview recently, the screenwriters dismissed the historical inaccuracies by stating that Rhys Meyers' Henry perfectly embodies the robust, egotistical and lustful antics of the real King, in a way that the real Henry probably never could- regardless of the fact that he himself had lived them.


As much as I adore Rhys Meyers as the King, I loathe the elfin Natalie Dormer as Anne Boleyn, even as I recognize that this is most likely a product of her talent in portraying the infamous home wrecker.


Her ubiquitous presence dominates throughout; she struts about court with her own attendants (!) like the cock of the walk, despite the fact that Katherine of Aragon remains Queen. She flies off the handle at Henry on the matter of Katherine continuing to outfit him with shirts, convinced this treasonous behaviour signifies there being "three in this marriage." The irony and arrogance of this statement makes my skin crawl. Even so, I cannot take my eyes off of her. She is electric. Maria Doyle Kennedy's Katherine of Aragon is simply striking, as she continually fights off Henry's attempts to send her away. By episode's end, however, Henry and Anne are off to cavort together, while Katherine is banished from court.

Yeah, he won't go near her in this season

The impetuous Charles Brandon, who couldn't keep it in his pants throughout season 1, has remarried a 17 year old girl, ostensibly for love (!). The most delightful performance of the episode was certainly that of Peter O'Toole, and although his one and only scene lasted approximately 3 minutes, it was brilliance. Although I can't help but think he looks like death warmed over, he sparkled as a wicked and nefarious Pope Paul III.

Your Papal Vestments are Showing

The entire tone of this episode, and clearly what will be that of the season, is darker and harder than that of the first. In Rhys Meyers' estimation, Henry has finally grown up. Here, Henry is brooding and contemplative, anxious to have his annulment granted and eager to wed and bed Anne. In the first season, the King cares little for politics and posturing; he dismisses himself from official business to "play" (he fucks the brains out of a lady-in-waiting). Here, we see the first shadows of what promise to be strains in his relationship with Anne (her snapping over the shirts). He's even cultivated a little 'stache, perhaps foreshadowing the full red beard Henry would famously sport. What was sorely missing, however, and surely in keeping with this more somber mood, was the steamy, unadulterated hedonism so liberally peppered throughout the first season. TWO sex scenes? That's all you can give us?! With one of them not even resulting in sex? And rather bland ones, at that. Regardless, the show's creator, Michael Hirst, tells TV Guide that "fans can look forward to a future scene with Anne and Henry that will be the 'hottest, sexiest, most passionately violent scene ever seen in a TV show.'" I cannot, off the top of my head, recall what currently reigns as the "hottest" sex scene in television history, but this is Showtime, son. It better be good is all I'm saying.


Copious amounts of sexual gymnastics or not, this season promises to be nothing short of thrilling. Hell, in 10 episodes, we have to conclude Henry's famed "Great Matter", obtain a divorce/annulment, break from the Holy See, declare ourselves "the only Supreme Head in Earth of the Church of England", finally fuck Anne Boleyn to a satisfactory conclusion, knock her up, birth The Virgin Queen, celebrate upon the death of poor Katherine of Aragon, miscarry the coveted male heir, and convict Anne Boleyn of high treason and incest and have her head swiftly removed from her body. I cannot wait for next Sunday.

Oh, and Tracey Ullman's new show "State of The Union" premiered following The Tudors. She is one of the most talented impersonators I've ever seen; having been a fan of hers for ages, I can tell you that the Bollywood pharmacy sketch is one of the funniest things I have seen in ages. If you have the chance to catch it, it's well worth watching for that piece alone.

5 comments:

Chick Young said...

And boy did he do his share of fucking.

Your review has me very intrigued, I would love to watch this with my friend Michael who knows more about the British Monarchy than just about anyone alive. He truly is sick, I mean here's a guy that could tell minutiae that would amaze you.

Do they include Sir Thomas Mooe? A hero of mine. As Paul Scofield has just died, I wonder who could fill his very skilled boots?? He would've been too old to play him anyway, but they should make some mention of it. Do they?

My but you've taken to this blog. Very liberating don't you think? Give us more!

JeSuisBlonde said...

I'm so glad that left you intrigued- as you should be! It really is an amazing show. What I will say is that if you watch it with anyone who has even a passing knowledge of British history, they will probably spend the entire episode pointing out all of the historical inaccuracies. Because that's exactly what I did. But eventually you get to a point where you're just won over by all the dirty sex, and you don't really care about the glaring inaccuracies. It's like waving shiny, pretty, naked things in your face, and you just kind of sigh, and go, "What a great show!"

So I'm just warning you- if you decide to watch it with Michael, make sure he knows just how much they take liberties for the sake of drama.

Why yes, they do feature Sir Thomas Moore! And he just so happens to be maybe my absolute favourite character, next to Henry, of course. His steadfast moral compass rocks the foundations of those around him. By Jesus, he's a self-flaggelator! Pretty crazy. But it truly has intrigued me as to the true character of this Thomas Moore. I'd love to learn more about him, more about Moore.

Thanks for reading my blog :)

JeSuisBlonde said...

p.s. the role of Sir Thomas Moore is played by Jeremy Northam. And he does an excellent job!

Chick Young said...

I'm very happy to know that Moore has them all confounded. I read A Man For All Seasons in junior high school and have seen the film hundreds of times. He was a brilliant man, a personal hero as I said.

So, just to be clear, you're stating that this series has numerous faults, but is akin to, and I quote "waving shiny, pretty, naked things in your face" and you watch and admire anyhow?? I quite like that, in fact, I seem to recall a similarly argued debate in regard to a certain film that Ichampioned... But, I also seem to remember you acquiescing.. vowing to watch it someday and that you would judge soberly. Here's to PLEASURES! I refute the notion of guilty pleasures, no such thing, why feel guilty over it, either you are engaged on some level or not. PERIOD. I decided LONG AGO when I chose my area of scholarship to do away with "guilty pleasures" and other such pun-driven sensationalist terms - they discourages active discourse and replace it with bourgeoise elitism . So, I say, you love The Tudors - then go with it baby!

Chick Young said...

Wow, I need to proofread my comments when it's getting late - sorry for the grammatical errors above. You'd expect more from a former prof.... For shame.....